Blindfold

               BLINDFOLD

It is with pain in my heart and tears in my eyes that I write this piece. I have never expected my life to turn out this way most especially when it had to do with the decision I made out of love. You can be right to say I was blinded by love, but I guess the blindfolds have fallen off. It is now too late to leave after all the time and years I have invested thinking things will turn around and he will get back to his default mood  on how we used to be. 

This is a true life story, so I hope you will learn from it. Please don’t castigate me or cry for me, I only did it cause of love. After all, love they say is blind.

She was always good at everything but she never thought she would be the worst when it came to marital choice. Chioma likes to think of herself as a strong woman, why wouldn't she, she has always been a survivor and a dedicated woman.

One thing Chioma never did was betray the man she loves. She never said no, she never spoke out of turn, she never disrespected him. She bore him two beautiful kids but he wouldn't even look at them least of living with them, he passes them by and waves them away like strangers-his own seeds. He married another wife, who gave him four kids, and he gives them all he has, yet! Chioma loves him even though she knows he would never love her back.

Chioma never gave up, she found delight in her kids whom she sacrificed 30years of her life in a one-sided love marriage to. She wakes up every morning with memories of her past and present day reality staring her down in the face. Her children never understood her, they never knew why she stayed. Everyday they asked her, why mother? why can't you leave this house, this man and give us the joy of not having to see you suffer, of not having to languish in pain and disgust at our very own father, why mother!? why?

She sat at her special sit rocking back and forth as the chair creaked staring at her husband of 30years and still not knowing where she got it all wrong. She leaned back and let her mind wander far and wide to the very beginning, when she found out she was going to be fatherless for the rest of her life.

Oh! she was so green, the brightest of a multitude of children, yes, she was from a polygamous home but her father loved her the most. She was beautiful, well mannered and did everything to put a smile on her father's face who would do anything to see her to the greatest height.

The day her father died was the beginning of a nightmare and an undoing for her. Her mother was more concerned about having children with several men than taking responsibility for her daughter. Chioma knew her life was over but she never gave up, she wanted to be a medical doctor but all hopes were bashed in, so she struggled, got herself a two degrees in Economics and Political Science. And how would life pay her back, by making her make the worst decision of her life. You can say she was simply blindfolded.

When Chioma met Idris, he was so handsome, the happening man in town, who just came back from Germany after his degree in Political Science. He married her and they were the happiest couple, blessed, they weren't rich but they loved each other and they were happy, that was all that matters. However, the day he dug his manhood in another woman's cookies, she knew that was the end of their happiness, most times she blamed herself thinking she pushed him away because she was too clingy. She gave up her banking job and took up teaching just to feel closer to the man whom she never thought would come to betray her.

So, when she made the decision to stay, she knew he would never love her again but she was determined not to be stigmatized like her mother was and she wouldn't let another man treat her like filth. The known devil is better than the unknown angel. Chioma was determined to do right by her children, she stayed to fight for them, she suffered hardships and neglect for her children, she couldn't even leave anymore, the children are already matured, each pursuing their goals in life. 

Once she tried to leave and he threatened to do everything to make sure her children never amounted to anything in the society, his own seeds. So she stopped and chose to say for her children.

Oh! Chioma, how she loves him still, she kept holding on to the good times they had and never complained, not once. She saw her children through the University, she took care of all their needs, she borrowed for them, the sacrifices of an African woman. And all he did was plant the seed and let her do the upbringing until it was time for harvest. What can she do, He is the man, well respected in the society, a high ranking chief, a father of many nations yet he beats his wife.

Chioma sat still, as she stared at this man going on and on gloating about how he takes care of his family to his friends and chiefs. So much pride in his stature, boasting about his children, of how he has an actress, an artist, an accountant, a doctor. She never said a thing against him for 30years and she wouldn't start now, but somewhere in her heart she wished she could undo everything and go back to that day she said yes to him.

She wakes up every morning and calls him my husband, praises him and yet she is dying on the inside hoping, just hoping that one day he would look back and tell her he was sorry but that day might never come because he is a man, and men are men. He broke her everyday but one thing he could never break was her spirit to continue living, loving nevertheless and staying strong because that is all she needs to survive 30years of a loveless marriage. 

Chioma knows he would never love her again but she loves him still and she doesn't hold it against him, her mother was always right, do not blame other people for your own God damn decisions when they come to hunt you.

If you are to advice Chioma what will your advice be to her. Feel free to drop your comments has they will go a long way and will be highly appreciate.

**Written By Anonymous**